BIG Decision

Maci was two months old on the 19th.  It doesn’t seem like that much time has passed since her unexpected birth. 

Today she is 4 days post operation and doing well.  She was taken off the ventilator yesterday  and did really well with breathing all on her own.  They thought she would come off Thiursday but she was still very sleepy from anesthesia and pain medicine so she wasn’t working very hard to breathe.  Yesterday she was awake a lot more and NOT happy about having a tube down her throat.  She was very horse from having the tube down her throat and it is so sad to hear her cry.   She sounded like Gizmo from The Gremlins when she makes sound.  Yesterday she had her voice back.  She was bright eyed a lot more throughout the day and she and I had a chat to catch up on the last few days.  She doesn’t seem to be in any pain which makes me happy.  She didn’t have any pain medicine yesterday or the day before.  Last night she got VERY hungry and upset.  She’s getting milk but through her tube in her stomach.  The NP (Nurse Practitioner) let her have 10 cc’s of milk by bottle last night since she was so fussy and she drank it so fast you would have thought she had a straw.  She should be getting more today. 

Yesterday when I was holding her, I just kept looking at her sweet little face and thinking OH MY GOODNESS, this is MY BABY!  Sometimes it is still so hard to believe that she is mine, all mine (and her Daddy’s of course lol).  I just feel so very blessed that I get to be her mother.

I have made a huge decision.  After much thought and prayer, I am taking a huge leap of faith and will be staying home with Maci and not returning to work.  With Maci going through so much right now as she recovers from surgery and we continue to make steps toward going home, I feel that I needed to be with her when the time came to go home and get settled.  I was literally sick at the thought of leaving her.    

Now, it's time for me to go see my baby!